|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
OTHER PAGES > INFORMATION PLUS > Give Me A Break...Some LaughsGIVE ME A BREAK ... SOME LAUGHS Call Center... Trying hard na sosyal na call center agent goes to starbucks, "one cup of chino please..." +++ Met a call center agent friend and noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. She suddenly blurted out, "Uy stripes din! It's the color of the day!" +++ In a Call Center… Irate Caller: "F**k you! What is wrong with you people?! I have been calling for several times already and yet I did not get any action?! F**k you! F**k you!" Lady Agent: "hi sir, oh please Sir, stop f**king me…it hurts already!" +++ Customer called in for tech support (cat meowing in the background). Agent said: "Is that your p*ssy ma'am?" +++ This one's from a recruitment officer, a collection of funny lines answered by call center applicants; 1. I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality) 2. I want to learn more English words. (when asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!] 3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede ko'ng apply-an?) 4. "Ten" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation) 5. "I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir." (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?) 6. "I want to entertain and satisfy customers" (hmmm….interesting concept…so…what are you wearing right now?) 7. "I want to expose myself to the customers." (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center") – Flasher ITO! 8. "Is there an opening for a call center?" (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?) 9. "Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I'm a call center from the Philippines." (solohin ba) 10. "I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!" (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students) 11. "I'm a married person, I have 2 children, the same boy" 12. "It's a boomed industry." (So all agents are now dead, I guess) 13. "I like to explore other people." (ay sus…maniac ka ano?) 14. "I want to explore myself more." (Answer to why do you want to work in a call center. bagay sila ni #13...) 15. "Hu u? How did you get my #? Text me back, huri. Send me load." (The audacity of an applicant can sometimes appall you.) 16. "I was scheduled for an exam this morning….I wasn't able to make it…because I WAS TONSILITIS." 17. "Hi Maam, do you have an opening." (Lokong to ah!) 18. "I want to adventure into the graveyard…" (Langya, mahiilig ka sa patay!) 19. "I would like to be a part of the graveyard…" (isa ka pa...thriller… thriller night) 20. "Gd pm sir, im realy sri wen u call me I cnt hear clearly coz d raindrops of d rain is vry noisy. Rgrdng of wat u want 2 knw y u call me?" (A text message from an applicant) 21. "Do you accept walking applicants?" (No, we prefer flying ones) 22. Interviewer: So you're an undergrad. What year are you in right now? Applicant: Oh I'm just here in the house. Interviewer: No, I asked you what year you're in. Applicant: Year? I'm 25 years old! ( Nagkakaintindihan tayo pare...) 23. Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm. Applicant (turning to friend): Egg-hunting daw pare! (Happy Easter!) 24. "In the middle of my study at Xavier, my father fortunately passed away." (fortunately?!) 25. "Hello, i just want to inquire about the application resume that i planted in the computer..." (Ano ka, farmer?) +++ Interviewer: What do you know about working in a call center? Applicant: Calling people? Interviewer: Are you asking me or are you telling me? Applicant: Telling me Ma'm, telling me. +++ Interviewer: Hi, we received your application online and we would like to conduct a short phone interview. Applicant; sure ma'am…when? Interviewer: right now, it won't take more than 20 mins of your time. Applicant: right now…where ma'am? Interviewer: phone interview. Applicant: aahhhh…phone interview…..sure!, where ma'am? (pag sure oi!) +++ Drunk Boy... There was a fellow in a bar one night that got really drunk, and I mean totally sloshed. When the bar closed he got up to go home.As he came out the door he saw a nun walking down the sidewalk. So he stumbled up to her and punched her in the face. Well, the nun was really stunned, and, before she could do or say anything, he hit her again. This time she went down. He then loosely ambled over to her and kicked her in the butt, then picked her up and threw her against a wall. By this time the nun was very weak and could hardly move.He went over to her, put his face right next to hers and said, "Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?" +++ Wanna bet ?... A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. +++ A Tagaytay Ghost Story... This story happened a few months ago along the Tagaytay Road. There was a guy who got left behind by a pack of mountain bikers. The group was large and he didn't bring a cellphone. He crashed his bike somewhere between Picnic Grove and DBP. To make things worse, a storm came in. So he walked. This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night passed slowly and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few meters ahead of him. Suddenly, just before the junction going to Manila , he saw a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out of the gloom. It slowly crept toward him and stopped. It was raining hard, wind blowing all around you, what would you do? Like you would, he got into the car and closed the door, then realized that there was nobody inside the car.... even in the drivers seat. The car slowly started moving again. The guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve. The guy started to pray, begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and he would plunge to his death, when just before the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Terrified, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally, the guy gathered his wits and leaped from the car and ran to the nearest place where there were houses. Wet and in shock, he went into a store and voice quavering, ordered two bottles of beer, and told the people about his horrible, supernatural experience. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was apparently sane and not drunk. About half an hour later two guys walked into the same store. One said to the other....... ... "Ayan! ayan yung tarantadong sumakay habang nagtutulak tayo ng kotse kanina…" -- Dominic Mendoza .... fortes fortuna juvat |
Your opinion matters! For inquiries and feedbacks, please email the WEBMASTER.
BOSCONIAN INTERNATIONAL CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, INC. 2007
BOSCONIAN INTERNATIONAL CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, INC. 2007